Posted by
Mike Romer on Saturday, March 17, 2007 8:31:27 PM
Recently a person asked me what a Liberal was, in response to a statement I made that I don’t care what one calls me, so long as it’s not a liberal or late for dinner. I gave a half-assed answer, and thought that was it, but it got me to thinking. What exactly is a liberal?
So, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here goes:
You might be a liberal if:
You think the taxes are unfair, the more you earn, the more you should be punished.
You think Fat Teddy Kennedy is a good driver and would ride with him.
You are willing to spend other people’s money on frivolous projects, but don’t want your own portfolio touched.
You preach that global warming is killing the planet, yet resist any efforts to correct it, except by conservation.
You travel to and from global warming speeches in your jet and SUV, preaching not to use such gas guzzlers, such as a large engine Ford or Chevy sedan..
You are against the nation’s dependence on foreign oil, yet are dead set against exploratory drilling in Alaska.
You agree that a 30 day sentence in jail is good enough for a person who raped and sodomized a 9 year old boy.
You live in Vermont.
You live in Massachusetts and keep electing Fat Teddy Kennedy into office.
You have no problem that Hillary Clinton used government aircraft to travel to the state of New York in a pre election series of trips, on ‘First lady’ business.
You think judges should legislate from the bench.
You have no problem with the ACLU defending NAMBLA, but are against them defending any 2nd Amendment cases.
You think the United Nations should be asked when the United States can use her Military.
You actually think the United Nations has a purpose in the world.
You voted to authorize the President war powers, based on the same intelligence information that the President had available to him, his advisors ,and yet you now want to pull out, because it may harm your election results.
You think every utterance that comes from Michael Moore’s mouth is the whole truth, but everything the President says is a blatant lie.
You denigrate The O’Reilly factor, yet have never viewed a episode.
You believe a driver’s license suspension and a fine are acceptable for killing a woman by leaving her in a car to drown.
You believe Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are real Ministers, yet never question where their Churches are or their sources of income.
You would have the terrorists bring the war to United States shores, instead of our troops bringing the war to their soil.
You believe the prisoners on GITMO should be under the protection of the United States Constitution.
You believe there is really a Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. .
You deny there a Vast left Wing Conspiracy
You think Rosie O’Donnell is a really nice person, with no personal agenda.
You think the feelings of an illegal alien are more important than the laws that govern the border.
You think our border patrol agents deserve to be sent to prison, just for doing their jobs.
You are against building a 700 mile fence on the Mexican border, yet are willing to pay taxpayers money to give illegal students a college education.
You want open borders between Mexico and the United States.
You believe the Mexican government should be able to direct the United States Justice Department who or who not to prosecute when it comes to Mexican nationals who are in this country illegally and are injured when shot at or other means of law enforcement.
You live in San Francisco.
You think Fat Teddy Kennedy is a fine role model for our youths.
You think the existence of a fish is more important than the lively hood of ranchers and cattle, so you shut their water off so the fish have a place to swim.
You know what the meaning of ‘is’ is
You have no problem with a sitting president lying under oath, but think it is terrible to see a GOP president. give a State of the Union address.
You are Nancy Pelosi and think you’ve been crowned queen, instead of being elected Speaker of the House
You claim to support our troops .but are willing to cut spending for the military, leaving them in danger with no recourse.
You think John Kerry makes any sense when he speaks
You think Theresa Hines Kerry makes sense when she speaks.
You believe Fat Ted Kennedy belongs in the Senate instead of prison.
You want Hillary Clinton to be your president
These are just some of the reasons off the top of my head, feel free to post any I may have missed.
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